Big News

It's official! I am turning in my letter of resignation at work tomorrow. After a lot of discussion, Sam and I have decided that it will be best for me to take a few years off work. It was really hard making the decision to leave International Paper after seven years of climbing the corporate ladder but I know in the long run this is the best thing for me and my family.

I am going to return to work on Monday to clear out my desk and say goodbye (more like see ya later!) to all my coworkers.

I am a little nervous about not working. It is hard to imagine being unemployed - I always thought I would be a career mom. I worry about losing touch with the outside world. I really valued the interaction I had with all my coworkers. That being said, I do not have any regrets and I really look forward to all the quality time I am going to get to spend with my son and the new opportunities this will present!

Clean Bill of Health

I had my 6 week check up today. Hard to believe that 6 weeks have already past. I am still recovering in some ways but the doctor said I looked good and was healing nicely. They want me to stay on the anti-depression medication for 6 months. It seems like a long time but the doctor said that it will help me stay level. I know I want to stay on it for at least another month, I guess we will see how I feel after that time.

On a more humorous note I think it is it is funny how different my postpartum recovery time has been than what I thought it would be. By this point I really thought I would be working out and really focusing on getting back in shape. What a joke! The only exercising I have time to do is walking the stroller around the block several times a day to stop a crying baby. There is also I lot of baby bouncing going on too (great for the abs!). Despite all the nice meals we have been eating (+ dessert) and the lack of quality exercise, I was happy to see that I am getting much closer to my pre-pregnancy weight. I probably won't be able to fit in my pre-pregnancy jeans for a few more months but at least the weight is coming off.

Nothing else to report. Harrison took lots of naps today. I followed the "sleep when the baby sleeps rule" so I am feeling well rested. After all the naps, I have a feeling it will be a LONG night. I am hoping he will prove me wrong.

10 Things I Have Learned From Harrison

10. When you are hungry scream at the top of your lungs and thrash around like a crazy man. It also helps if you try to suck on any available body part regardless of the holders gender - arms, noses and chins are favorites.

9. Baby nails are sharper than razors but nearly impossible to cut. Don't even get me started on baby toenails.

8. Formula poo really is much worse than breast milk poo.

7. All hell breaks loose at 4pm.

6. Walking outside solves almost any problem.

5. Day and night mean absolutely nothing.

4. Lights are profound and mysterious things that must be stared at.

3. A new clean outfit should be spit up on immediately (bonus points if the adult does not have a burp cloth handly).

2. Always scream at the top of your lungs when guest are present. Quite down and act like an angel as soon soon as they leave.

1. Gas is your biggest enemy!

Tub Tub

We weighed our little chuck this afternoon. It was a very unscientific process (I got on the scale with Harrison and then I got on the scale without Harrison) so it might not be the most accurate measure. Either way, Harrison was a whopping 13 pounds! It doesn't surprise me at all...I think I can practically see him growing right before my eyes!

Since we showed a picture of Harrison screaming yesterday, I thought I would show the other extreme. Here is Harrison at his best :)

From Week Four

I'm Back

I want to apologize for being away for a while. I am hoping that I will have more time in the next few weeks to post more frequently. For those of you that I haven't talked to, I have been having a little trouble these last couple of weeks. About two weeks ago I started having panic attacks when going out in public or when people would visit. Each time I would have one it would be worse than the one before and they started getting more frequent. When I was having an attack it felt like I was drugged and I had very little control over myself. I couldn't sleep or eat and I would have trouble breathing. It was a very scary time and I am so thankful Sam was there to help me through it.

I have been put on medication (Zoloft) and it is really helping. I have also been limiting my social interactions since they seem to trigger the panic attacks. I have been on the medication for about 8 days now and I am finally starting to feel like myself again.

I just wanted to share this with everyone so you would know what I have been going through and why I disappeared for a while. It is good to be back!

One Month Old Today

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to!

From Week Four

Harrison showing off one of his favorite nightly activities.

Announcements

From Announcements

I thought I would post the announcements I created. I was pretty proud of how they turned out (except for a little mix up on the back, darn printer). I am hoping to start a little side business of doing announcements, calling cards and maybe even little hang tags like the closet dividers in my spare time. I just need to figure out how to get started. I have a printer right now but I am not happy with them...I would like to find a local printer I could work with. I really enjoyed making the announcements and came up with 10 different templates before Harrison was born...have lots of ideas for others in case anyone is interested just let me know :-)

Harrison's New Swing

Fisher Price Rainforest Swing: $65

From Week Three

4 C Batteries: $6

From Week Three

1 hour of peace...

From Week Three

PRICELESS!

Birth Story Posted

I have back posted my birth story on Harrison's actual birth date. If you are interested in reading the specific details of Harrison's birth either scroll down to that day or click on the following link:

http://coverdalechronicles.blogspot.com/2008/08/disclaimer-i-have-been-asked-to-post.html

Harrison's First Doctor's Appointment

Harrison had his first doctor's appointment today. He is in great health! His weight is 9lb 3oz (50%) and he is still 21 inches long (75%) and his head circumference is 36cm (50%).

We talked a lot about sleep schedules and feeding habits. We were also concerned about Harrison's right arm since he seemed to favor his left arm. Turns out he has a broken collar bone from delivery. Evidently this is really common with bigger babies and the broken bone heals quickly on its own. We have already seem improvement in the right arm but it was nice to know what was causing his lack in mobility.

We really liked his doctor and look forward to seeing her again for his two month appointment. Harrison was pretty pooped from the whole event!

From Week Three

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my 30th birthday! Nothing big planned - I think we are going to celebrate with a party in a month or two. My day has been great though.

From Harrison Week Two

Sam has done a lot of the baby duties and cleaned the whole house. I got to take a long nap, take a shower, and run out to Target. Before the baby this wouldn't have seemed like a big deal but now being able to do all three and still eat breakfast and lunch were huge. Tonight will also be special. Our friends Amy and Matt have been sweet enough to offer to come over and fix us dinner. I am really looking forward to the adult company!

Quick Update

I have been working on a few post to share soon. I have been a lot busier than I ever thought I would be. Between feedings, diaper changes, cuddling, and trying to get in a little me time the hours in the day really fly by. My mom has been in town the last two weeks helping out. She did some of the nighttime duties and gave me an extra set of hands during the day. She also helped with the confidence issues that come with being a first time mom. She left to go home on Friday and I am now flying solo for a little while until Sam's parents come up. I really miss her and I was really sad to see her go. I look forward to her next visit!

I promise to post again soon. I have Harrison's birth story all typed up. I am also working on a daily schedule that I hope have completed next week sometime. I am sure there will also be a lot of pictures to share.

From Harrison Week Two

Bath Time

We gave Harrison his very first bath today. I was happy to have my mom here helping out. I was pretty nervous about the whole thing. We did really well and Harrison is now squeaky clean. I don't think he was a big fan of the whole experience though. He screamed through most of his bath. Harrison doesn't like for his clothing to be removed. I think once he gets snuggled up he really wants to stay that way. Who can really blame him?!?!

He didn't like the bath too much but he was perfectly happy once we wrapped him in his little towel. He looked absolutely adorable! I love these little hooded towels - I wish they made a big person version.

We decided to follow up Harrison's bath with a little mini photoshoot. We got him all dry and dressed him in a pretty little gown. He decided that this was the perfect time to show us how good he was at spitting up. He had never really done that before so we weren't prepared with burp cloths or anything. We really learned our lesson! After a little cleaning up and a change of clothes we tried again and got some really cute pictures.

Hospital and Homecoming Pictures

Harrison and I were released from the hospital today. While it was really nice to be under the care of medical professionals, it is so good to be home! Harrison did really well during the trip home. I think he liked being in his carseat and really enjoyed riding in the car. When I got home I was greeted by a large stork in our front yard announcing the arrival of our baby boy. It was so cute!

I haven't been very good so far about updating the blog but I am going to try to be better. Some of the post may be out of order but I am going to try to document the milestones.

Here are some of my favorite pictures from the first couple of days:

Meeting Harrison for the very first time:

Trip home from the hospital:

Look what the stork brought us!

To see all of our pictures check out our Picasa album.

Harrison is Here!

Harrison was born at 6:03pm on Monday, August 25th. He was a BIG boy weighing in at 8lb 13 ounces and was 21 inches long. It looks like he has light brown hair but his mommy thinks it might be red. We think he is about the cutest thing we have ever seen!

We will post pictures and a more detailed birth story soon!

Birth Story

Disclaimer: I have been asked to post the details of my birth. This post contains some medical information and may be a little too graphic (I tried to keep it clean) for some readers. Please read at your own risk :-)

Samuel Harrison was born on August 25th at 6:03 pm. He weighed 8lb 13 ounces and was 21 inches long.

The Long Story:
We arrived at the hospital at 4am for our scheduled induction.

From Harrison Hospital and Homecoming

From Harrison Hospital and Homecoming

I had really hoped that I would labor on my own but it was really nice getting to walk into Labor and Delivery relaxed. We breezed through the check in process since I had already pre-registered and they took us back to the L&D suite (I had to go back alone initially to answer questions in private about potential abuse, STDs, and/or any other concerns I might have had). I got changed into a gown and they gave me an IV which was virtually painless. They did an internal exam and I was 3cm dilated and fully effaced.

From Harrison Hospital and Homecoming

I was hooked up to monitors to check the baby’s heartbeat, my blood pressure (surprisingly low for the amount of anxiety I was feeling at the time) and my contractions. I was having contractions every 4 minutes but they were completely pain free.

From Harrison Hospital and Homecoming

Around 5am they started the pitocin to induce labor and they started my first bag of fluids through my IV. Around 8am, I had my first meeting with the anesthesiologist to review my pain relief preferences (definitely wanted an epidural) and any allergies/issues I might have with medication. By this point my contractions were still 4 minutes apart but were building in intensity. Right after my meeting with the anesthesiologist, the on-call doctor from my OBGYN’s office came in for her rounds (my doctor doesn’t do deliveries). The funny thing about the doctor was that there were two doctors on call from my practice (Dr. Miller and Dr. Williams). I never knew which one I was meeting with because they looked almost identical. At one point we had them both in the room and that was the only time I actually believed they were really two different people. I really liked both ladies. The doctor (Miller I believe) examined me and broke my water. She said that I was almost 4 cm dilated. I got my epidural around 9am. By this point my contractions had started getting more intense (I really had to breathe through each one to get through it) and I was really thankful for the relief. I had a really successful epidural. I was really nervous about the whole process but in hindsight I think the worse part was the anticipation. The injection they gave me to numb the pain was a little painful but probably not much worse than a couple more contractions would have been. I felt the pressure when the catheter was inserted but very little pain. I felt little shocks in my back as he threaded the lines for the medication but only for a second (it wasn’t painful just weird). I was happy to have the support of Sam and my nurse throughout this procedure. The nurse explained each step as it was being performed and told me exactly what I would be feeling and how long it would last. This really helped calm me down. The pain relief started within 10 minutes and I was in heaven!

From Harrison Hospital and Homecoming

I felt warm and snuggly like my legs were by a nice comfortable fire. I no longer felt any pain but I could feel just a little bit of pressure to know when I was having contractions (most of the time). The epidural continued to work until about an hour after delivery without any issues. Around 10:00 the nurse checked me again and I was 5 cm dilated. We called our parents and let them know they could come to the L&D suite to visit us. They each visited for about 30 minutes and it was nice to have a little company now that I was comfortable. The doctor checked me again around noon and I was 7 cm dilated. Up until this point, no one had estimated how big my baby was going to be. Since I wasn’t that big and my weight gain had been relatively small (25 lbs), the doctor predicted I would have a 7 pound baby. I felt the estimate was pretty close and was happy to have a nice (easier to deliver) sized baby. I was checked again around 2:00 and was told I was 9 cm. I was thrilled to be making such progress and was certain we would be meeting our baby soon. I couldn’t believe how stress-free the day had been so far. When they checked me again an hour later I was still at 9 cm and we were a little concerned that I might be stalling out but we weren’t too concerned since I was still having strong contractions. When I was checked again at 4:00 I was still stuck at 9 cm but I had also started to run a fever (101 F). I was started on an IV bag of antibiotics and was given Tylenol. At 4:30 the doctor came in and said that she was worried about the potential of passing an infection on to the baby and if I hadn’t made progress in the next 30 minutes I would have to have a C-section. I started crying a little since I really didn’t want my labor to end this way. I told them that I would do anything to avoid a C-section and I quickly said a prayer that I would be given the strength to do what it would take to work through this challenge. We decided to do a few practice pushes to see if I could push past the remaining 1 cm. I also rested on my opposite side in hopes that a new position would help. When the doctor came back at 4:45 I was at 10 cm and ready to push! I was so happy and was determined to push to the best of my ability to get the baby out quickly and to avoid a C-section. My epidural was really good but it made pushing hard at times. I could feel pressure with each contraction but sometimes I was uncertain that I was actually feeling a contraction. My contractions were coming every 1 – 2 minutes. With each contraction I would take a deep breath and push for 10 seconds and then repeat this two more times. I prayed a little prayer with each contraction. I don’t consider myself a super religious person but these prayers really gave me the strength to keep pushing through exhaustion. All this time I had Sam and my L&D nurse cheering me on. During the breaks we laughed and made jokes to lighten the mood. The doctor and nurse said we were the happiest parents they had ever seen. The assistance of the nurse and my husband really helped since I never believed I was pushing good enough and could have easily given up without their support. After one hour of pushing (painless just exhausting) my L&D nurse smiled and said I needed to stop so that she could get the doctor. I was about to meet my baby boy! I immediately started crying. I couldn’t believe that I had been able to get to this point. The doctor came in along with an assistant and one other nurse. They all got suited up and we laughed at all the special clothing they wore. On command I gave my first push. They all cheered that the baby’s head was out. I gave a second push with very little results. On the third push I delivered the shoulders and the rest of his body. As he was coming out I remember everyone saying what a big boy he was. Sam and I immediately started crying and I instantly fell in love. They put him on my stomach so we could look at him and I could clean him. Sam even cut the cord (he had not wanted to originally). They took Harrison to the other side of the room to do tests while I finished the final stage of labor and was given stitches. I was not given an episiotomy but had a partial 3rd degree tear. It took about an hour for the last phase of labor to be completed. Harrison was given to Sam to hold while they were completing my stitches. This was really hard since I really wanted to hold my baby. I also really wanted something to drink (I had only had ice chips since midnight). I was given a very small glass of water but it didn’t sit well and I threw it back up. This was the worse part of the whole labor which shows how easy my whole day had been. After a few more minutes they gave me a sprite and some saltines and this made me feel much better. Now that I was a little more stable, I got to hold my baby and nurse him for the very first time. I felt like I was on cloud nine.

From Harrison Hospital and Homecoming

Harrison knew exactly what to do and turned out to be an excellent nurser. Despite my fever, he was in perfect health. My fever dropped shortly after delivery but I had to remain on antibiotics (via IV) given every four hours for the duration of my hospital stay. After I completed nursing, we invited our parents back to the L&D suite (Sam had called them right after Harrison was born so they could return to the hospital). It was so much fun seeing them meet their grandson for the first time.

From Harrison Hospital and Homecoming

From Harrison Hospital and Homecoming

From Harrison Hospital and Homecoming

They stayed until I was transferred up to my recovery room. I remained in the hospital for one and half more days (check in 4am on Monday, check out 1pm on Wednesday). Overall, I think my experience was wonderful and exceeded all the expectations I had. I would definitely do it all over again and will approach my next delivery with a lot more confidence.

From Harrison Hospital and Homecoming

I think the key to my success/happiness was to constantly remind myself that everything had a beginning and an end (i.e. nothing would last forever). I chanted this to myself anytime I got a little anxious. I also only allowed myself to think about one thing at a time and only focus on the next big milestone instead of everything all at once (ie getting checked in, starting pitocin, getting an epidural, pushing, etc.). I also think prayer really helped me. It really helped me to know that this was all bigger than me and that God was looking out for me through it all and would give me the strength and courage to handle anything. Finally, communicating with my husband and my awesome L&D nurse openly about what a was feeling and/or worrying about helped to transfer some of the stress away from me. Oh yeah, and the epidural helped quite a bit too!

Thanks for reading my super long post. I hope I didn’t overwhelm you too much with all the details!

Feelings

Since I was already awake (see post below) and there is only so much you can do at 4am, I thought I would journal the feelings I was having right now. This might turn out to be a delirious middle of the night post or it might turn out to be a post that I enjoy reading in a few months/years time that takes me back to this time and the feelings I was having. Anyway, here it goes...

Crazy urge to clean and prepare
This has been going on for the last few weeks but it is especially strong right now. I have this strong desire for everything to be perfect. I have made countless lists and walked around the house a million times just checking to make sure everything is in place. Just to put it into perspective, yesterday I washed windows (I don't do windows). I also mopped the foyer twice and swept off the leaves from the walkway. Around the middle of the afternoon I decided I needed a project so I convinced Sam that we needed to go to Home Depot to buy new plants to put in the planters outside. He did what any good husband of a very pregnant woman would do - he agreed (and did all the work). I know this is the nesting instinct and I just want to confirm that it is very real!

Nostalgic
I am a emotional sap all of a sudden. I think I have been really level headed this pregnancy. I have only had a handful of emotional outburst but in the last week I have caught myself reflecting a lot more than normal. I think a lot about my relationship with Sam and all the special time we have spent together. We have had an incredible marriage so far and I can't wait to share parenthood with him. At the same time, I know one day I will look back on these pre-child days and wish we had appreciated them more. I also think about my relationship with my parents. One of my friends told me that having a baby changed her relationship with her parents quite a bit. She, like me, was already really close to her parents but having a baby made her see them in a whole new light. She was able to get a little glimpse of what they were like with her when she was a baby. I think that was a really neat way to think about it and something I am really looking forward to. It makes me think back to my childhood and makes me thankful that I was lucky enough to have such positive memories to reflect on. I also think about my relationship with friends. I think in some ways, having a baby will make me closer to some people and we will be able to bond over our children. At the same time, there will also be friendships that will suffer and will probably never be the same. I think it is just a part of growing up and happens naturally when your life changes. I don't worry about this but it does make me look back fondly on the experiences Sam and I have shared with our friends over the last few years. Finally, as much as I am ready for this pregnancy to end, I know that I will really miss this experience one day. I can't wait to meet my little baby boy but I will really miss the special time we have spent together before birth. I have loved feeling his movement and knowing that he was growing inside me. I am pretty sure we will have a second child but you can never be sure. Either way, there will never be another first child and this pregnancy time has been very special to me. I guess it is perfectly normal to be nostalgic during such a major milestone in your life. Looking back on it all, this is probably one of the biggest things I have ever done in my life. I just want to make sure I take it all in and really treasure all the memories and experiences.

Nervous
I think this one goes without saying but I am pretty nervous about everything (even if I don't want to admit it). I am, of course, a little nervous about giving birth. I think I am as prepared as I will ever be. Regardless, there are so many unknowns and I just hope that I can stay calm and handle everything well. I am nervous about being a parent for the first time and that I will know what to do. I am so thankful that I have my mom and Sam's mom to help out with this baby otherwise I would be a total wreck right now. I know we will get the hang of this parenting thing but it is still a little scary thinking about bringing a little baby home for the first time. Truthfully, there are thousands of little things I am nervous about right now and I think it is probably better that I not list them out. I just wanted to acknowledge that I am not quite as level headed as I might have lead you to believe.

Excited
This is the big one! I can't wait to meet our little man and celebrate his life!

40 Weeks, and One Day Pregnant

Yep, it really is 3:30am and I am wide awake. No signs of labor or anything exciting like that, I am just wide awake. I don't know if it is nerves (sub-conscience because I really don't feel that nervous) or what but I just can't sleep. This time tomorrow I will be up anyway getting ready to head to the hospital for our induction so maybe my body is just preparing myself for that big event.

Both of our parents are arriving today. This is a little funny to me (in a good way) because when we planned everything out this is not how we discussed it with either set of parents. In the end, they were excited and have both decided to headed in a little early to be a part of the big event. I am thrilled. It will be great to get to spend part of a day with all of them before going into labor.

So that's it really...nothing exciting to report. Just thought I would check in and say hello. Hope everyone else is having a great night's sleep! :)

False Alarm

So we totally thought we were having a baby last night.

It was about 10:30 and I was reading a book and Sam was watching women's volleyball on televsion. The American girls had just won the gold medal when I started having contractions. The first one came at 10:37. I thought that it was a little different from the Braxton Hicks contractions I had been having - a little more uncomfortable. I didn't say anything at the time but glanced at the clock just in case. About 10 minutes later I had another. I was thrilled! I thought that something was definitely happening. I mentioned it to Sam and we both chatted excitedly for the next 30 minutes or so. At that point I decided that we probably needed to try to get some sleep since it would be a long night/morning if this really was it. Sam drifted off pretty quickly but I had a really hard time falling asleep. I decided it would be best for me to get up and go lay on the sofa with a book. I alternated reading and sleeping for the next few hours. At some point (around 3am) the contractions must have died down because I slept for a couple of hours. I was so disappointed when I woke up at 5am and wasn't having contractions anymore!

So here I am, still waiting. (sigh!) I have had a few contractions today but nothing regular. I am hoping that this is a sign that something is going to happen soon and that my body is just practicing for the real thing. I guess we will have to wait and see...

39 Week (and FINAL) Doctor's Appointment Update

It's almost bittersweet. After all these weeks of going to the doctor, I had my last appointment this week. Everything went really well. My weight was good, blood pressure was great, and the baby's heartbeat was normal. Not much change in progress though so I was a little disappointed there. I guess Harrison has just gotten a little too comfy in his current position.

Because my due date is Saturday, they went ahead and scheduled me for an induction in the event that he doesn't come on time. They called the hospital and the best day turned out to be Monday. So we have an "eviction" date! If I make it until Monday, we will be heading to the hospital at 4am to have our baby.

I am still hopeful that he will come on his own and will probably be trying all the old wives tales between now and Monday to hurry him along but it is really exciting to know that we will most likely have a little baby in our arms by Tuesday morning!

Let the countdown begin!